Dear Final Episode of Lost,

Thanks for not shitting in your pants. You might have whizzed a little down your leg, but the pants remain free of shit.

The end of Lost wasn’t a cop-out like some people have been saying. The whole cast wasn’t dead from the beginning of the show. The flash-sideways depicted a place outside of time where the cast go after they die, whether they died before, during, or after the events of the show. At least, that’s how it seemed to me.

All the question weren’t answered, but still, it was better than Battlestar. And that’s all I wanted.

- TwoBit

P.S. You all everybody. Or something.

Dear Final Episode of Lost,

Please don’t be as disappointing as the end of Battlestar Galactica. I mean, what was up with Starbuck’s arbitrary disappearance? And everybody voluntarily going back to the stone age? Stupid, stupid, and stupid. Battlestar’s finale shat in its pants. Please don’t shit in your pants, Lost finale.

Thanks, TwoBit.

P.S. Desmond better get back to his family in one piece. Or else.

It’s the anniversary of the birth of Abraham Lincoln. Happy birthday, you magnificently dead bastard!

Fun fact: Lincoln had mad wrestling skills and could wield an ax like a blood-crazed lumberjack.

Fun fiction: Lincoln rode an cyborg Allosaurus, commanded mind powers the like that Professor X could only dream of, and was the Kentucky state champion pig juggler four years in a row.

(He rode an Allosaurus because he thought Velociraptors were too bourgeois and Tyrannosaurs too extravagant.)

I’m not sure why I’m writing this, but everybody else is doing it, so why not me? So here it is: a list of my twelve favorite albums of the decade. Note that I did not say the best albums of decade. This just personal opinion, like every other goddamn best blah, blah, blah of the decade list. Why twelve? Because my list ended up too long and I couldn’t bring myself to remove any of the albums. Besides, who doesn’t like a good dozen? Not me, I can tell you that. Here they are, in no particular order:

Furious Angels - Rob Dougan

I sure listened to this album a lot back in the early 00s. While I haven’t listened to it in quite a few years, I still think it deserves a place on the list.  The songs Clubbed to Death and the title track Furious Angels are both great examples of the the album’s perfect combination of classical and ambient music with dance style breakbeats. There are also a lot of depressing songs about death that manage to avoid being emo or nihilistic.

Incredibad - The Lonely Island

As a comedy troop, The Lonely Island is far from an actual music group. Still, they managed to create one awesome goddamm comedy album.  Despite some of the tracks being old sketch material from SNL episodes, every song on this album is worth the price of admission. Except maybe We Like Sportz. That one could have been funnier. A lil’ bit.

The Deeper You Dig… – Butterfingers

Mixing genres and coming up with something worth listening to is not very easy. Just look at nu metal. Butterfingers succeeds at blending rock with hip hop in a uniquely Australian way. This album not only brings some sweet-ass guitar licks and wicked rhymes, it also delivers some surprisingly amusing humor.

St. Elsewhere – Gnarls Barkley

The song Crazy was played to death back in 2006, but that doesn’t change that fact that it and the rest of the album is hands down the best material that DJ Danger Mouse and Cee-Lo Green ever created. I also like that every time they played St. Elsewhere songs live they always rearranged and remixed the songs, somehow making them better then before.

Straight Outta Lynwood - “Weird Al” Yankovic

“Weird Al” Yankovic has churned out plenty of awesome albums over the past three decades or so, but this is definitely his best of the 00s. From his parody of Ridin’ by Chamillionaire, to the silly as hell Weasel Stomping Day, this is one funny bunch of songs.

Demon Days - Gorillaz

I couldn’t decide between this or the first self-titled Gorillaz album. They’re both equally good in different ways. But I’ve listened to this one more, so it goes on the list. I’ve never been a big fan of the fictional cartoon band, though, just a fan of the dude behind the curtain: Damon Albarn. Also? Feel Good Inc has one awesome bass line. Just sayin’.

Junior - Royksopp

I don’t listen to as much electronica  as I used to. Over the years I’ve really grown tired of trance, techno, house, and all the other subgenres of electronic dance music. But Junior by Royksopp feels fresh to my tired ears. From the first track with its jaunty sample of Funkadelic to the closing song with its funky breakbeat and simplistic chorus, it sounds totally unique.

mc chris is dead – mc chris

Mc chris is one of the best nercore rappers out there today, although he doesn’t really like to be associated with the nercore moniker. Mc chris is dead is one of his best albums, and that’s saying a lot. He’s released quit a few good ones this past ten years. The song Reese is a good example of his ability to write a decent track about nearly anything. In it, he raps for two minutes and forty seconds about nothing but Reese’s candy.

Black Holes And Revelations – Muse

Is Muse a band or just an excuse for Matthew Bellamy to create ball-bustingly awesome songs? Maybe both? Every song on Black Holes And Revelations is worth listing to over and over again. And the Knights Of Cydonia is still a great track despite its inclusion in Guitar Hero 3 and extensive amounts of airplay.

Courage to Grow – Rebelution

I don’t listen to a lot of  reggae bands, but I still do love me some Rebelution. Their second album, Courage to Grow,  has a lot of impressive guitar work, which you can’t always say the same about some other reggae groups. Also, any album that contains a song that condemns intelligent design is OK in my dusty old book.

Weezer – The Red Album

I’m not a huge Weezer fan, but I sure loved their third self-titled album, aka The Red Album. It sported a wide range of unique songs which utilized the vocals and song writing talents of all the members of the band. I can’t say I liked their latest album, Raditude half as much. Also, The Greatest Man That Ever Lived is the best song on the whole damned album. Am I right? I THINK I AM.

Mos Def –The Ecstatic

Mos Def is a pretty decent actor. But he’s even more talented as an MC. This album is a perfect example of that. One of the things I liked the most about The Ecstatic is its small amount of featured vocalists. The few that are featured are utilized well, unlike most hip hop albums which feature a ridiculous amount of people who all feel very under used. Slick Rick is on this album and he sounds good, which is not often the case with guest vocals done by old-school MCs on new-school albums.

So there’s the list. Don’t like it? Tough.

It’s been a full year since this site started. Is this in anyway a significant milestone? Nope.

Today is towel today. Pass it on.

The new Star Trek film, the one simply named “Star Trek,” was better than I expected. In fact, I’d say that it was the best trek film since First Contact. And I love me some First Contact.

Despite my love for all things TNG, I really dug this film’s pre-TOS setting. Also, SPOCK PRIME. You know what I’m talking about.

Easter, huh? It’s got rabbits, eggs, and zombie Jesus. It’s all good, right?

Random fact: In Australia during Easter they sell chocolate bilbies, a rabbit-like marsupial. Cool, no?

The reggae group Rebelution is the biz-omb. That is all.

You may go about your business.

I don’t care. The world of sports can kiss my ass. Especially the sport that stole its name from that European one where they kick the ball into each other’s goal.

I have better things to do than watch a bunch of sweaty dudes pile on top of one another. Like watching plants grow or the continents shift.